Remember that revision is a process, moving from large,
essay-level concerns to the more focused surface errors and sentence-level concerns.
Since our previous revision exercises have focused on the larger issues, the
suggestions below should guide you through some of the fine-tuning before
submitting your final draft.
- Have
you followed the guidelines of the assignment?
- Do you
have a clear thesis statement that indicates the shape your essay will
take?
Paragraph level:
- Are
your paragraphs unified around a central idea expressed in your topic
sentence? Do the paragraphs each relate to the thesis statement?
- Have
you included appropriate transitions to move from one paragraph to the
next? See RW p. 315 for list of transitional phrases.
Sentence level:
Revise or remove the following phrases when possible:
- expletive
constructions – it is / there is / there
are / there was / it was (see RW pp. 159, 278, 382, 388)
example: There are many ways to address this issue
improvement: The author addresses the issue with logical arguments.
- demonstrative
pronouns that need nouns – this / that / these / those followed
by a verb (see RW p. 370)
example: This is important because it shows the author’s use of emotional appeal.
improvement: This example effectively displays the author emotional appeals.
- phrases
that are generally too broad and vague:
- in
today’s society
- people
today
- throughout
society
- across
America
- everyone
knows
- it
is obvious that
- unclear
or non-specific pronoun references (see RW p. 212-17)
example: Statistics make it easier for you to understand the argument.
improvement: Statistics clarify the argument for the reader.
- statements
that over-promote the author’s work:
- the
author does a good job
- this
argument could not have been written better
- interjections
of your personal opinion:
- I
think
- I
believe
- I
agree
- I feel
