TEAL paragraph template

Use the TEAL acronym to construct and assess the structure of body paragraphs [1]:

Topic Sentence: main idea of paragraph, mentioned or suggested in thesis statement (1 sentence)

Example: evidence from the text to support the main idea of paragraph, including quotation, paraphrase, etc. (2-4)

Analysis: the most important part includes an explanation of why and how the example supports the topic sentence and overall argument stated in the thesis (3-5)

Lead-in: wrap up the main idea of the paragraph or lead in to another example and complete a TEAL-EAL paragraph (1-2)

[1] Special thanks to Dr. Anastasia Turner and Kim Griffin for the use of this activity.

paragraph explosion

Like the paragraph-cutting exercise, this peer review activity will similarly get you thinking about the paragraph as a discrete unit. In addition, this exercise will require peers to consider the structure and content of the sentences in a single paragraph.

Follow the steps below to prepare your own work for the activity:

1. Open your essay on the google drive and select one body paragraph of at least six sentences. 

2. Copy and paste this paragraph into a new google doc titled "paragraph explosion activity" in your essay 3 folder.

3. "Explode" the paragraph by hitting return/enter at the end of each sentence. The end result should have each sentence on a line by itself. 

4. Alphabetize the sentences using the first word as a guide. In instances where first words are the same (i.e. "The") move to the second word. 

5. Add at least one extra line of space between each sentence to improve readability.

6. Share this paragraph with the peer whose email you have been given. Make sure that "can edit" is indicated in the sharing preferences.

from "shitty first draft" to un-shitty first draft

I hope you found the process of writing a "shitty first draft" helpful as you approach this first essay. Whether or not you incorporate it faithfully into your writing process in the future, the SFD offers an opportunity to approach the topic unencumbered by the pressures of grammar, clarity, and structure that so often contribute to writer's block.

With deadlines looming, the present task is to move from your shitty first draft to something that looks more like a real essay. Your impulse is perhaps to scrap the SFD entirely and return to what you consider your "regular" essay process. I'd discourage you from doing so, at least for the short term. Instead, follow the steps below:

paragraph analysis

1. Open draft one of your essay and create a copy. Use the naming convention <10.09_peerreview> and make sure it's in the essay 2 folder.

2. Trade computers, then put your name just after the author's name in the four-line heading as follows: (reviewed by <yourname>)

3. Using the highlight tool in word, color the parts of each body paragraph as follows:

• topic sentence: green
• examples/quotations (i.e. things with citations): gray
• interpretation: blue
• concluding sentence: yellow

4. Make the thesis statement of the essay bold.

5. Using the "insert comment" tool, add at least one comment to each of the paragraphs in the essay. Remember to select only a small bit of text when you do this, even if you're commenting on the paragraph as a whole. As you comment, consider the following:

• paragraph unity
• clarity of topic sentence
• prevalence of interpretation
• number of quotations (like salt, a little goes a long way and too much is bad for you...and the paragraph)
• sentence variety

6. Save each of the comments as you go along, or else you will get an error when you try to close the document.

7. Return to your own essay, evaluate the structure of your paragraphs as highlighted by your peers, and read through their comments.

Paragraph cutting exercise

Use this exercise to focus on the paragraph as a discrete unit. Consider the following questions and comment on them as you review your peers' paragraphs:

Read through the paragraph in its entirety, making surface revisions as you see fit.

What kind of paragraph is this?

If an intro paragraph:

• underline the thesis statement and comment on it. Is it an argument? How do you know?
• comment of the flow of the paragraph. Consider the entry point of the author. Does it make sense?

If a body paragraph:

• circle or identify the main idea
• comment on the unity of the paragraph

If a concluding paragraph:

• circle or identify the main idea
• comment on how the reader appears to move from a focused point to something larger

Does the paragraph include quotations?

• If any quotations are complete sentences in themselves, comment on  how the peer author might integrate the quotation better by selecting a key phrase.
• Are all quotations cited correctly using MLA formatting for parentheticals?

Is punctuation for quotations correct?

paramedic method

I. Reconsidering the Larger Concerns

Work through the paper and record a comment in the margin of each paragraph. Consider the following:

• How does this paragraph fit within the context of the virtue/vice analysis?
• Is this paragraph unified? Note sentences or ideas that seem to get off track.
• Where are the transitional phrases/sentences? Do they adequately signal a change/extension of topic?
• Isolate any phrasing in the paragraph that appears wordy, awkward, or informal.
• Are quotations appropriately integrated and cited? Has the writer included a Works Cited page?

II. Revising with the Paramedic Method

The Paramedic Method, devised by Richard Lanham and described in his book Revising Prose, seeks to rid writing of the "official style"--prose riddled with prepositional phrases and defined by its conflated syntax. The activity below intends to tighten syntax and streamline sentences into concise, expressive units of meaning. Note that removing all prepositions or "to be" verbs from a sentence is not the intent here.

1. Circle/highlight each of the prepositional phrases present in the draft (remember: by, of, from, for, to, in, etc.).
   Too many prepositions can drain all the action out of a sentence. Revise at least one sentence per paragraph using the following guidelines:
• Get rid of excessive prepositions and find a strong active verb to make the sentence direct.
• Original: In this passage is an example of the use of the rule of justice in argumentation.
• Revised: This passage exemplifies argumentation using the rule of justice.
• Prepositions associated with verbs often signal stylistic informality. Again, revise with a stronger active verb.
• Original: The study's purpose was to follow up on research previously conducted in the field of composition studies.
• Revised: The study's purpose was to continue research previously conducted in composition studies.
2. Underline/highlight the "to be" verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been).
   Using "to be" verbs gets the sentence off to a slow start and makes the sentence weak. Revise at least one sentence per paragraph based on the following:
• When possible, replace "to be" verbs with action verbs.
• Original: The point I wish to make is that fish sleep with their eyes open.
• Revised: Fish sleep with their eyes open.
• Change passive voice to active voice.
• Original: The content of Georg Lichtenberg's commentaries has been reconsidered by Ronald Paulson.
• Revised: Ronald Paulson reconsiders the content of Georg Lichtenberg's commentaries.
3. After marking as directed and revising at least two sentences per paragraph on your peer's paper, return to your own work and consider further revisions based on the abundance of prepositional phrases and "to be" verbs.

reviewing for structure and content

The following activity employs the technique of reverse outlining and is designed for draft one of the first essay but can be adapted easily to any assignment.

Read the essay once in its entirety without making any marks. Then begin the peer review activity below.

Reverse outline (see Purdue OWL activity)

Identify the structure of your writing colleague’s essay by outlining the following: 

Thesis statement 

• supporting topic

• supporting topic

• supporting topic

• supporting topic

Concluding point/evaluation 

Ask and answer critical questions

1. Is the thesis statement easy to find? 
2. Is the thesis statement arguable? In other words, does it attempt to redefine our understanding of something or is it just a statement of fact?  
3. Does the thesis relate clearly to one of the assigned essay topics?  

Revise and comment
Now focus on one of the body paragraphs. Comment closely on this paragraph by adding at least three comments. Consider what the author has done well and what he/she might need to work on.


Next evaluate the structure and content of the introduction and conclusion. Do you see repetitive phrasing between the two of them? Suggest revisions or reinforce good variety on the google drive copy of the essay. 

Finally, review at least two of the body paragraphs for style and grammar. This should include revision of at least three sentences within the paragraph. Make marks directly on the electronic copy of the essay, and be clear in your suggestions for improvement.

sentence-level revisions

Remember that revision is a process, moving from large, essay-level concerns to the more focused surface errors and sentence-level concerns. Since our previous revision exercises have focused on the larger issues, the suggestions below should guide you through some of the fine-tuning before submitting your final draft.

large order concerns

This activity not only provides an early opportunity for peer review but introduces you to revising and editing tools in Google Docs that we will use throughout the semester, allowing you to track revisions using the "suggesting mode" and to "insert comments" on your peer's draft to reveal any revisions or suggestions you make during the process. 

Follow the steps below as you review and comment on your peer’s first draft.

1. Have each member of the group briefly describe the main point of the essay.
2. Trade papers (switch computers) with someone in your peer group.
3. Read your peer’s paper through one time without making any marks on it. Does it follow the author's intentions as stated in the thesis statement and as described in his or her own commentary?
4. Read it through a second time, this time starting with the last paragraph, highlighting and/or correcting any "surface errors" such as spelling or grammatical concerns. If using a computer to revise, be sure to activate track changes before making revisions to the essay (under the "review" tab).

Now focus on each of the parts of the essay, asking yourself the following questions for each section. Place two constructive comments in the margin of each element (including two for each body paragraph). Computer classes, select the word or phrase you wish to analyze and use the insert comment function ("review" tab); please avoid selecting complete sentences when using this function.

INTRODUCTION: familiarizes the reader with the "big issue" surrounding your essay before revealing the focus of your argument or point in the thesis statement

• Do its details about the "big issue" move from general to specific?
• Does it lead up appropriately to the thesis statement?

THESIS: guides the shape of your paper by indicating the direction of your analysis

• Does it include a single, straightforward point that your reader can identify?
• Does it include an evaluative statement or slant about that theme or is it merely a statement of fact?
• Is it just one sentence?
• Does it fit within the context of the introductory paragraph? Are additional transitional phrases necessary?

BODY PARAGRAPHS: aim to ensure unified, organized support for your thesis

• Read through each body paragraph again, one at a time.
• Does each paragraph start with a strong topic sentence? Highlight it.
• Write/type in the margin your perception of the topic of each paragraph.
• Is the paragraph unified? Does it only talk about one topic, or does it present multiple ideas?
• Are quotations included and properly cited?
• If dialog exists, how does it "sound"? Does it make sense?

CONCLUSION: closes the essay and guides the reader back out to the "big issue" without restating the thesis statement

• Does it include the phrases "in conclusion," "in summary," "to reiterare the thesis"? IT SHOULDN'T!
• Does it stay on topic with the "big issue" ideas posed in the introductory paragraph?

Before returning the essay to its author, insert a comment at the end of the last page of text two things that the author did well and two things you think they should focus on as they prepare their final draft.

revision guides

Recall that one of the main goals of this course is to convince you that writing is a process, one that requires thinking, planning, and multiple drafts. Revision is integral to this process. As you evaluate your writing along the way, keep in mind that your aim is not to revise all issues with a piece of writing at once; instead, view revision, too, as a process. Systematically review the elements of your work, moving from global considerations such as organization, structure and content, through paragraph-level notions of unity and flow, to sentence- and word-level issues such as grammar, syntax, and spelling. The links below provide additional reinforcement on this process.

In-class activities:
The overriding point of peer review is not to tear essays apart but to help improve them for the next draft. Although you will submit your essays to me for grading, you should also consider your classmates as writing colleagues and therefore part of your target audience. This acknowledgement should help as you approach the peer review activities for each assignment. Also remember as you review to be constructive, detailed, and specific. All comments should include a "because" phrase to explain your rationale.  

• From "shitty first draft" to un-shitty first draft: moving forward from Lamott's SFD
• Applying the rubric: using the language of the rubric to evaluate essays collaboratively
• Annotated Bibliography peer review: focusing on style, mechanics, and plagiarism avoidance
• Global revisions: focusing on structure and organization
• Sentence-level activity: with a list of phrases to avoid
• Paragraph-cutting exercise: looking at paragraphs as discrete units
• Paragraph analysis: using the highlighting tools to visualize paragraph structure
• Paragraph explosion: considering paragraph structure and transitions
• Paramedic Method: using concepts from Richard Lanham's Revising Prose
• Revising for structure and content: using reverse outlining
• TEAL paragraph template: assess the structure of body paragraphs with this helpful acronym

On-line revision guides:

• Purdue OWL
• Steps for revising 
• Reverse Outlining
• Reverse Paramedic Method

Final draft reflection:
Please respond to the following questions in complete sentences, reflecting on the essay assignment you just submitted:

1.  Describe your process for this assignment, starting from the point where you read the assignment description.

2.  What did you find easiest about this assignment?

3.  What did you find most difficult?

4.  If you were starting over, what would you change, either about the process or about the essay itself?

5.  Aside from the grade, what are you most concerned about with this essay as you turn it in?